just another friday night

i find myself
again under
friday night lights
listening to
invocations over rattling
speakers from
the lips of
fried chicken eating
protestant ministers
hearing the
star spangled banner
played in
an unknown key
some yahoo
stuff his face with
cheese fries
while the officials
hold caps over hearts
and i
hold my cigarette
behind my back
in deference
to our national
song to
live and to
kill by

at such times
i look back over
the roads
i've traveled
the spins around
the clock face
of eternity
all the places
& spaces & faces
rising like
misty ghosts
in the fog of
my diminishing mind
i look back
& wonder which fork
i missed
which turn
in the road
took me from
where i was
to where i am
& if
a better end
might not have come
had i found
that swerving path
to another place

& i figure no
fuck it
this is it
this is where
i'm supposed to be
living small
in the big world
being inside
my skin
in this moment
the universe
sprawls broad
around me
with energy

on the field
wild youths
crash with abandon
wearing sullen anger
like colorful festoons
on their helmets
slim legs
kicking on the sidelines
a half acre of
young pussy that
will mature
to break a
thousand hearts

an old man
leans against the
sound speaker pole
exhausted camera
around his neck
hanging by his side
staring off
into the night
at the stars

i notice him because
i know his skin
from the
inside out
know where
he has been
& where
he's going
understand what
he believes to be
the truth of it all
& the lies as well

the night is
like a mirror
its light shattering
the darkness

hinting of morning
and some victory
he can't name

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