hiding from the gospel

i hid from
jehovah's witnesses

just out of bed
and clad in
this old robe
i elected not
to greet them
with customary

a salt and pepper
team with a
girl of about three

the child
a decoy
to deter the
heathen like me
from bursting
full rant of
anti christ

in truth i'd
rather have an
insurance salesman
show up
or a guy
peddling plastic

or something

not these overbearing
fools selling their
distorted ideas
of heaven

give me a phony
baptist with knees
shiny from kneeling
and the mix of
fried chicken and
pussy on his
lying lips

give me a catholic
quick to buy his
way to paradise
with confession and
a few bucks

give me the
scarlet whore
wrapped in worldly gold

or give me an
old trappist monk
hunkering over
a hard cock in
a stone cell

give me a
guitar picking
praise shouting
foot stomping
snake handling
evangelical fool

waving his bible
and crying to god

give me
jimmy swaggert in
a whore's motel room
jerking his

or a theiving
jim bakker
quick humping a
halfwit secretary
and whining all the
way to prison

give me a
smile and a
smoke and a
fresh cup of

give me anything
but a jehovah's witness
because even a man
with nothing doesn't

want that

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